A debut with potential

Rise of the Fallen by Ivory Autumn

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


A fun read with potential, but one that requires work to make it flow smoothly. The plot seemed rather disjointed, with some very fast paced moments where a lot of action occured in very little period of time, vs long periods where nothing happened at all. The characterisation was awkward. Hero, Andrew, seemed to be the main character, but it also seemed that Ivory (the author) was scheduled to fill that position. At one point, they've just rescued Ivory from one danger (the Fog Locker) and not many minutes later she gets bored of the boys tomfoolery, wanders off by herself and is immediately in a situation in which she needs to be rescued from again. And the other two boys (Freddie and whats-his-name) seemed largely redundant to the plot. Overall, it could have benefitted rather from a professional edit.

In other editting news, I am happy to report that there were no misspelt words. However, Ms Autumn just suffer somewhat from comma overload and, whilst it was clearly spell-checked, in many situations the wrong word had been used - I started making note of it partway through and discovered: "Now give me your best shot. I promise I'll be fare." (she did spell "fair" correctly earlier on in the book); "...gazing at her with a mesmerizing glair." (A "glair" is a bonding agent made from egg white); and finally "The close they wore was softer than sealskin." There were several more earlier on too.

Overall, the plot has promise, and the premise is interesting. The illustrations are a delight. However, it needs another edit or two and a bit of a polish before it is to the standard of a traditionally polished novel.



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